After weeks of feverish media speculation about Kevin Rudd’s wobbly stint as Australia’s US Ambassador, the Trump team has swooped in with a “skills-appropriate” job offer. A spokesperson for the team confirmed, “We’re thrilled to have Kevin on board. He’s starting out with two shifts a week, midnight to 2am. He’s keen on becoming team leader one day, but hey—who isn’t? Former President Trump recently spent time in this role and look where he is now! “
Rudd, leveraging his Mandarin skills, has reportedly been a hit with late-night customers. Though, as when he was Prime Minister, most of them have no idea what he’s saying.
Meanwhile, whispers abound that Joe Biden might also snag a spot on the team. The only hiccup? Finding a shift that aligns with his “awake hours.” So far, no luck.