Amidst the sea of students declaring minors in Business Administration, Graphic Design, and International Relations, Jessica Dalrymple, a third-year student at Prestige University, has chosen a different path. Last week, she excitedly announced her decision to minor in ‘Avoiding Real Life Responsibilities’ (ARLR), a ground breaking program introduced this semester.
The ARLR program is tailored for students who excel in procrastination, creative excuses, and mastering the art of appearing busy. Core courses include “Advanced Netflix Binging,” “Intro to Ghosting,” and “The Philosophical Implications of Not Checking Your Email.”
Jessica, who has unofficially been preparing for this minor since her teenage years, spoke about her decision: “I’ve always had a knack for dodging responsibilities. Whether it was ‘forgetting’ about chores or cramming for exams the night before, it just felt right. This program validates my skills.”
Surprisingly, or perhaps unsurprisingly, the ARLR program has garnered immense interest. Professor Tim Delay, who teaches “Strategic Napping 101,” said, “The enthusiasm is unmatched. I’ve never seen students so committed, or rather, so committed to not committing.”
Beyond the core courses, students in the ARLR program engage in practical training. “Our internship program is quite unique,” says Dr. Evade Evermore, the department head. “Students are placed in real-world situations – like family gatherings, dentist appointments, and team meetings – and navigate them using their finely-honed avoidance techniques.”
While many are applauding Prestige University for recognising and accommodating all types of skills, critics question the marketability of such a degree. “I’m just not sure how ‘Proficient in Avoiding Responsibilities’ will look on a resume,” commented local employer Sarah Taskmaster.
Jessica, however, remains undeterred. “I’ve already received a job offer as a ‘Responsibility Evasion Strategist’ for a startup,” she proudly shared. “They admired my ability to push deadlines and defer tasks.”
As universities worldwide watch with bated breath, only time will tell if ‘Avoiding Real Life Responsibilities’ is the next big academic trend or just a fleeting fad. One thing is certain, though: Jessica and her peers have already mastered the art of dodging any definitive answer.