CANBERRA – In a surprising move that could only be described as “straight out of Bonnie Doon,” Australia’s Labour Government is pulling out all stops to win the upcoming referendum for the Voice to Parliament proposal. The strategy? Tickling the heartstrings of voters and invoking the ever-ambiguous “vibe” of the Australian Constitution.
Taking a leaf from the famous Aussie film, The Castle, government spokespersons are now regularly seen passionately invoking the ‘serenity’ of this democratic process. “We’re not just asking people to vote,” one spokesperson commented, “we’re asking them to feel the vibe, embrace the serenity, and say ‘tell ‘em they’re dreamin’ to any opposition!”
In a distinctly Australian approach to constitutional reform, ministers have been sighted standing in front of Parliament House shouting, “It’s the constitution, it’s Mabo, it’s justice, it’s law, it’s the vibe!” to any passing pigeons. So far, the pigeons have not voiced an opinion.
A ‘Vote Yes for the Vibe’ campaign is now in full swing, complete with emotion-packed commercials showing iconic Australian scenes – kangaroos bounding across sun-burnt plains, the Sydney Opera House, a snag sizzling on a Bunnings barbecue, and heartfelt testimonials from the cast of The Castle. One commercial features an emotional Darryl Kerrigan declaring, “This proposal isn’t just an idea. It’s a man’s home, it’s a woman’s home, it’s Australia’s home.”
The government hopes this campaign will convince Australians that the proposed constitutional change is as much a part of the national identity as Vegemite and cricket on Boxing Day.
Despite the optimistic charm offensive, critics have likened the ‘vibe’ strategy to jousting at windmills. “It’s as murky as the Murrumbidgee after a flood,” one opposition MP grumbled. “They’re trying to flog us the Kingswood and tell us it’s a Rolls Royce.”
Whether the strategy will work is yet to be seen, but one thing is for sure: as Darryl Kerrigan would say, “It’s going to be the constitution of Australia. You can’t be bluffed on the constitution of Australia.”