DARWIN – In a bold attempt to both rewrite the rules of navigation and to ensure no one ever gets lost on their way to Darwin again, a pair of divers in the eponymous Australian city drove a LandCruiser, lovingly referred to as ‘mud crab’, underwater for an astounding 7 kilometers.
Experts, who initially thought the feat was as feasible as teaching a kangaroo to play cricket, are now reportedly reconsidering the definition of ‘road’. “It seems that waterways are the future highways, and all you need is a LandCruiser fitted with an exhaust snorkel. Maybe add in a pair of goggles and a swimsuit for the full Aussie experience,” commented a representative from the Mapmakers Guild.
Residents of Darwin, often overlooked by tourists heading the wrong way and ending up in Sydney or Melbourne, are overjoyed at the unexpected boon to their tourism. “Now they’ll have to come to Darwin to see the ‘mud crab’ in action. Take that, Opera House!” boasted one resident, amidst plans to launch “mud crab” diving tours.
Meanwhile, the ‘mud crab’ divers are said to be preparing for their next aquatic expedition, with rumours suggesting they’re eyeing the English Channel. When asked why, they simply responded, “Why not, mate?”
It’s expected that this will finally secure Darwin’s spot on the map, as long as mapmakers can figure out how to depict underwater LandCruiser routes. Cartographers worldwide have been spotted stocking up on blue ink in anticipation. As for future Darwin travellers, be sure to pack your snorkels along with your sunscreen. The wrong way to Darwin just got a whole lot wetter.