MELBOURNE, AU – Daniel Andrews, the Premier of Victoria, has announced he is set to publish a new book which promises to be a masterclass in political evasiveness. Titled “The Art of Forgetting: How to Effortlessly Dodge Difficult Questions,” the book details Andrews’ unique approach to handling challenging press queries and parliamentary interrogations.
“I’ve long been asked how I manage to navigate the tough questions that come my way,” said Andrews at a recent press conference, forgetting that he usually avoids them. “It finally seemed like the right time to put pen to paper and share my techniques.”
The book is divided into several chapters, each detailing a specific strategy such as “Selective Memory,” “Artful Diversion,” and “How to Say a Lot While Saying Nothing at All.” The final chapter, “Embrace the Silence,” reportedly contains just a single blank page.
Andrews’ critics have been quick to express their incredulity at the announcement. “It’s utterly astonishing that the Premier would choose to flaunt his evasiveness in this manner,” stated Opposition Leader Michael O’Brien. “I think Victorians would rather he focus on answering their questions rather than writing books on avoiding them.”
Yet Andrews remains unfazed by the criticism. “Everyone has their unique way of dealing with difficult situations. I choose to forget,” he said, later clarifying that he couldn’t recall making that statement.
“The Art of Forgetting: How to Effortlessly Dodge Difficult Questions” is set to be released next month. The publisher anticipates a strong response, although Andrews himself said he probably wouldn’t remember this prediction.
Asked whether he would host a book signing event, Andrews paused before responding, “I can’t recall.”