MELBOURNE – In a move that has left sports fans and athletes alike in a state of disbelief, Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews has cancelled the 2026 Commonwealth Games. The reason? A sudden case of budgetary amnesia.
“I don’t recall anyone mentioning that the Games were going to cost $4 billion over the previously budgeted amount,” Andrews said at a press conference yesterday. “I mean, that’s a lot of money. You’d think someone would have mentioned it.”
The cancellation comes as a shock to many, as Victoria had been eagerly preparing to host the Games. However, Andrews insists that the decision was made in the best interest of the state’s finances.
“I was just as excited as anyone about the Games,” Andrews said. “But when I found out about the cost overrun, I had to make a tough decision. And by ‘found out,’ I mean ‘stumbled upon while looking for a pen in my desk drawer.’”
The Premier’s claim of ignorance about the cost has been met with scepticism from some quarters. Critics argue that the budget for the Games was a matter of public record and that Andrews should have been well aware of the costs involved.
However, Andrews remains adamant that he was kept in the dark. “I’m not saying there’s a conspiracy,” he said. “But if there is, I wouldn’t be surprised. I mean, $4 billion is a lot of money to misplace.”
In the wake of the cancellation, the Commonwealth Games Federation is reportedly seeking compensation from the Victorian government. Andrews, however, seems unfazed by the potential legal battle.
As the dust settles on this unexpected turn of events, one thing is clear: the 2026 Commonwealth Games will not be coming to Victoria. Whether this is due to a genuine oversight or a case of selective memory on the part of the Premier, we may never know.